These are mostly jokes or things I actually do believe, written in a silly, provocative way. The one exception is paving the streets with salami and filling mailboxes with mustard: in this instance, I am kidding on the square.

Chillax, broseph, puns are alivealicious. Twin Cities Daily Planet, March 19, 2013.

Our fixation on the un-dead assumes zombies will also be, October 17, 2012.

Ignite Minneapolis. I spoke about sandwiches on March 4, 2010 and about the beards of the presidents on May 24, 2012.

Art Hounds Parody. (MP3) KFAI, broadcast December 19, 2010.

Northeastern University Times New Roman; multiple pieces. 2005-2007. The Times New Roman was the comedy publication at Northeastern University in Boston. It is only available in super-huge PDFs of the whole issue; those are hard to read! These are plain text PDFs of the humor articles I wrote. Boston, MA. October 2004-Spring 2007.

Give me a break, I was hit by a car(PDF)  Weekly Dig, Boston, MA. June, 2006.

A Stunning Example of How Not to Live. Short film, all but acted by me; 2nd place winner, Iowa State Mac Users Group Film Festival. Ames, IA. Spring 2004.